No title…

With caressing words,

He lured me out of my harbour

With tender hands,

He broke down my walls,

Crumbling my defenses

With a soothing voice

He led me to his haven

He called it love

I called it my greatest fear

With baby steps,

I embraced his home

Dwelled in his comfort

Let my guard down

Forgot the tickling time.

Without words

He retraced his steps

Leaving me with the shell of his oath

I was no Cinderella

But I knew it was time to go..

the illusion of perfection.

The illusion of perfection…..

Feelings are amusing, envy for instance is probably the most “blacklisted” emotion in the history of emotions, we feel its toxic and unhealthy to envy someone even if it’s a feeling we have no control on, shouldn’t it only be labeled forbidden and toxic when that emotion turns to greed or hate because truth be told we all are envious of something another person has, we crave things that are in the possession of others, and no it doesn’t make you a bad person, it just makes you human.

The lady who lives in a castle wish she could live in a small apartment “it feels cozy”, the lady who lives in an apartment wish she could live in a bigger house “everything is in there”. The celebrity silently wish she could walk freely around the park, break some rules unapologetically, she wish for an ordinary life with no cameras “she wants her freedom”, the lady with an ordinary life stops briefly at the bus station daily to admire the billboards “she wish she was the brunette with the bright red lips”

The illusion of perfection comes from the belief that everyone’s life is perfect, everyone but you! however the irony of it is that, someone else craves your imperfect life and sees it as perfection, the way you look at others lives and use it as blueprint is the same way someone else sees yours as a blueprint. You wonder what they see right? I can assure you that the person you envy feels the same way. That’s just the way life is, it’s an unending cycle. We all judge our lives by looking at other’s perfectly imperfect life, craving other’s smile, joy, laughter, forgetting that we only see what we are allowed to see, But if you look closely you’ll see the crack and holes in the smiles, it’s not different front yours.

We all crave the same thing which is happiness, we all want to be happy, I mean who doesn’t want a fulfilling happiness. But is anyone really happy? Can you boast not to want any other thing in your life other than what you already have? No right? Do you have the happiness that comes from peace? The truth is that no one is really happy yet everyone has something that makes others envy them.

What then is the essence of comparing your life to that of another, what then is the purpose of hating your own life because of another person’s life? When the person is in fact still in search of more bricks to fill its holes? Don’t you think we all are in search of the same thing? Free yourself from the illusion of perfection and focus more on your reality, that way you see how normal it is to have few holes and cracks and that’s where perfection lies.

.

.

.

Ps: for some weird reason, I don’t think I constructed it as well as it is in my head, I’m sorry to anyone reading this and it doesn’t make any bit of sense to you.

colors?

It’s hard to be unique in a world of judgmental people,

Who are so quick to point fingers.

 It’s hard to stand out in a colorless world,

Imagine wanting to be yellow in a black and white world,

Oh, how odd would that be?

How hard people will bark,

At the odd  you have no control over,

The odd that chose you.

I wonder if people realize it’s my world,

And  not our world.

No matter how hard you bark,

It’s not going to change who I am

No matter how long you make me hide

My colors can’t be concealed

I am, who I say I am.

And not who you want me to be.

The Actors….

So I was on my bed some few days ago when I remembered one of my favorite quotes few years back, I’m sure many of us has come across the “Life is a movie, we are all actors…..” quote. I remember scribbling it everywhere there was a blank sheet (LOL). The funny thing is that I’ve always agreed with the saying but I never fully understood what it meant. But thinking about it now I understand what I never understood but I do not agree with it to some extent.

Life actually is indeed a movie if you think well about it for various reasons but I’m just going to focus on the fact that we are not actors, fine sometimes we have to act in a certain way due to some circumstances even if we feel entirely different inside. A struggling father would have to put up an act which projects hope for his family even if he is burning with worry. A mother in every circumstance needs to be happy and project joy for the sake of her little ones. The children act in line of making their parents proud even if they want to live for themselves.

Well, maybe we are indeed actors, but actors with choices, something movie actors do not have, they however act in regards to the script they are given irrespective of how they feel; the script dictates how they live their life. But in the real essence of life, one of the benefits of living is that you get a choice in deciding how your life be, many times it appears as though there are no choices cause life can be quit unpredictable and funny, you plan for something then boom! Something else happens, you want a certain kind of career, course, school but you get dished something else.. lol it can be quit frustrating yh? But the basic truth is that you no matter what life throws at you, no matter how strong the brick is..Store them up and build your own mansion, make lemons out of lemonade right?

Every story must have an ending, be it in movies or in life..Every story must surely have an ending; the same way no movie lasts forever is the same way nobody lives forever, at the end of everything, all that matters is the impression you leave behind.

what do you guys think?

WAR?

Life is a constant war,

First, we battle with ourselves

Battle with self esteem

Battle with pain

Battle with scars

Battle with the scars of others

Battle with the system

Battle with our choices

Battle with our thoughts

Battle with our skin

Battle with our fears

Battle with our emotions.

Then we fight,

Fight for ourselves

Fight for Love

Fight for peace

Fight for your dreams

Fight for your belief

Fight for your right

Fight for your people

Fight for your colour

Fight for your life.

SHE

She’s RARE.

Out of her haven,

Free from reach,

A star in the mist of darkness,

A drop of white,

A soul in a foreign land,

A taste of hope,

A quenchable fire.

She’s RARE,

She who is lost

She’s freedom.

With stumbling speech,

Foreign emotions,

She roams unnoticed.

first attempt at story writing.honest opinions please?

CHAPTER 1

I wonder what is going through his mind as I bend to fix the straps of my 50 dollar heels,at least ms kang isn’t here to reprimand  me on how a proper lady should act. “A lady“wouldn’t be bending on the hallway of her fiancé family home looking awkward and so out of place. Well thank God she was no lady, thank God for that.

 I look up and glance at Felix, only to find him staring at me, Lord knows I would give up these heels to know what is going through his mind right now.

 “Do you need my help”?  He asks? I’m sure that’s what I heard? Or are my mind playing tricks on me once again because I’m sure I didn’t see his lips “huh”? I asks, this time focusing on his mouth to check if I was right. He glances away quickly staring at the white or cream wall he is leaning on. I pick up my purse which had fallen while I was being unlady like and get back up, turning to face Felix I give him  a nervous smile and a small nod to tell him I’m ready. Atleast physically I am.

With a heavy sigh, I walk past him only to feel a gentle tug on my left arm “Are you sure you good? His eyes said, they looks so sad and tired, his copper brown hair is disheveled and looks to be in need of ms kang’s famous wooden comb, he tugs at me once again jolting me back to reality “I’m okay, trust me” I reply, giving him a full genuine smile this time. He stares really hard at me not believing my words “you don’t have to worry about me honestly I’m good, I mean as long as you don’t leave my side and I avoid having eye contact with your father and your brothers and your sisters, practically everyone in your fami- “I stop when I see the corners of his lips lift only to realize I’ve been rambling. God, even his half smile is pretty, focus Tamia! Finally letting go of my hand, he intertwines our hands and leads the way. Step by step, up we go into the wolves’ territory.

FORBIDDEN

I know you don’t deserve me,

I know you are not here to stay,

I know you are not mine to keep

I know you are not mine to crave.

Yet, I’m being selfish,

And wish to keep this pearl

Despite possessing a diamond

Never thought I could be this way

Always thought it could never happen to me.

For years I thought I could be contended,

For a second I forgot I was human.

Always thought I was different,

But here I am,

Yearning for this forbidden gem.

Just venting..

So I’m just here to vent, about the concept of having a side chick!!!! I don’t think I will understand WHY guys have side chicks.

Like why would you see a lady you like, pursue her, only to cheat on her at the end of the day, why?? I mean why the emotional stress, physical stress and everything? Why lead her on if you know you are not ready? Or just stay single if you know you can’t help but cheat.

You know the worst part? Going back home to your girl after spending the day or hour without another woman, then you go home,  look your girl in the eyes , all smiles and loving.

The annoying thing is that most guys still claim they love their spouse.. I don’t get it, is it possible to love someone and intentionally hurt the person?

Am I the weird one here?

Most guys don’t  see cheating as a big deal, talking about “it’s nothing serious it’s just sex” talking about ”no emotion is being attached” and all…like bro it’s a big deal.

So if you know you are not ready for A REAL COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP, don’t bother going into one, don’t lead a girl on if you know it’s nothing serious on your side. Don’t allow a girl fall for you only to hurt her at the end of the day, don’t play with her emotions. Don’t go prophesying hearts and flowers to her if its only fun you are after. Its unfair giving a guy your all only to find out you’ve been played.